DEATH BATTLE

I'm not a fan of it, but if you go by the weird 'every arcade ending is an example of something that could be canon' logic of Mortal Kombat, as well as MK1 giving everyone an alternate-universe version who is capable of fighting amongst Gods, then there are definitely ways to buff Kano enough that he doesn't immediately get destroyed by Cyclops. It's a shame that it's a stomp, because if they'd done it back in Season 2/3 then it would've been really entertaining to see. Play up Cyclops' boy-scoutness in comparison with Kano's hard-drinking brutal 'What do you mean "It's cheating to hide multiple blades in your shoe?" Piss off ya bleedin' drongo!' pragmatism.

And then they could be bringing back Kano now to fight Captain Boomerang, both Australian villains who have experience with speedsters; Kabal and The Flash family. You'd assume (correctly) that Boomer has way higher reaction times, but the general explanation for his relative success is just that he's fought Flash enough that he can fairly reliably predict where he's going to be, rather than just "The Flash can move ten trillion times faster than light so Digger must be reacting even faster to hit him!"

... Oh! And since they both like to swear, you could name the fight OST, 'Boomer Ku-Wanker'. Which... I always thought Boomer Kuwanger was a vaguely Australian phrase but apparently it's just a Mega Man X boss, and Kuwanger comes from the Japanese word for stag beetle. Oh well, I still like it.

Yeah, Cyclops is a character I'd really like on the show but finding him a really good opponent is...tough.

An idea I cooked up in my head would be Danzo from Naruto. Both of them are strong authority figures with ocular powers that are both willing to make tough choices for the sake of peace. Though in contrast, while Cyclops is willing to stand on the front lines and speak his mind for peace, Danzo hides in the shadows and manipulates and deceives his way towards peace.

It's a match-up where Cyclops wins since he should be able to resist Danzo's Sharingan due to experience with Jean and Xavier, but I think the dialogue between them could be interesting with Cyclops reflecting on how he could've become as extreme as Danzo at one point.

I have never heard of Danzo and I do not know who he is.

... which I suppose means that his plan is working...

Sounds like a great match-up though. My only demand for a Cyclops match is that there has to be a moment where he's firing everything he's got, and he says "Alright, that's it! No more holding back! See if you can keep up with this!" and then his opponent braces themselves, and he just stops firing his eye beams, throwing them completely off-balance as they are now bracing against nothing and they fall over like an idiot. He did that to Thanos in the original Infinity Gauntlet storyline. It was great.

-Simpsons neck tug-

Edited by FOFD on May 5th 2024 at 3:20:42 PM

Akira Toriyama (April 5 1955 - March 1, 2024).

I still want an opponent for Neji or Hinata, but even the appropriate opponents have no defence against the Gentle Fist.

Like, either they can completely nullify it, or they can't. There's no middle ground with that style.

One Strip! One Strip!

Scott and Neji both have powers that basically one'shot if they connect, had beef with their paternal figure, and have a sibling they tried to beat the crap out of. Both have deaths that might be considered internet memes.

Edited by FOFD on May 5th 2024 at 4:38:02 AM

Akira Toriyama (April 5 1955 - March 1, 2024).

Danzō Shimura is one of the Third & later Fifth Hokage's advisors as well as the leader of the black ops organization Root; often going behind the Hokage's back and using underhanded and highly unethical (if not straight up illegal) means—like working with Orochimaru, backstabbing the original iteration of Akatsuki (thereby enabling Obito to turn it into a terrorist organization), oppressing the Uchiha Clan, ordering the Uchiha Clan massacre when the aforementioned oppression backfired, having Orochimaru graft the First Hokage's cells and a ton of Sharingan into one of his arms (which turns out to not even be his arm) so he can spam Izanagi in the event someone tries to take him out, assassinating anyone he perceives as a threat, and attempting to brainwash the other Kage into kowtowing to him using Shisui Uchiha's stolen Mangekyō Sharingan (having ripped it out of his head to take for himself)—to pursue his "might makes right" & "the ends justify the means" vision of peace.

Edited by Arawn999 on May 5th 2024 at 1:38:27 AM

x3

Frans Rayner? He's a serial ninja killer with absurd control over his body including his nervous system. He can rearrange his organs and vital points at will but they are still there. It would make him a challenge for Neji but not an impossible one. Rayner does have a ranged weapon with his laser eye but he's only got a limited number of shots because of it's energy drain.

The big danger that Neji might face is if he ever tries to use the shadow clone or clone jutsus because those canonically give Rayner a huge buff.

Scott who?

Like, we're gonna need a last name of some sort.

Sounds like an interesting dude. As for the Shadow Clone or regular Clone technique, Neji doesn't use it as far as I know. He should know how to do it (the regular Clone Jutsu), as I'm pretty sure it's a required technique in the Leaf Village. I'm curious as to why using it would power up this dude however.

One Strip! One Strip!

I'd love to see any Dr. McNinja character on this show.

Danzo is interesting in that, while he has the power to temporarily become a reality Warper, he doesn't have the imagination to use it effectively.

Edited by MisterTambourineMan on May 5th 2024 at 6:50:13 AM

Nach jeder Ebbe kommt die Flut.

x2

The conservation of ninjutsu is a physical law in the McNinja universe that Frans tapped into order to kill entire clans of ninjas. Against one ninja he's a decent threat.

However, against entire armies of ninja he's unstoppable.

Edited by Freshwater on May 5th 2024 at 5:17:41 AM

Hmm. A thought — any opponent of Danzō's would not only have to contend with his ability to use Izanagi for up to one minute per eye (which he has 10 of, not counting Shisui's eye) as well as the passive healing factor and Wood Release usage granted by Hashirama Senju's cells, but have to be able to counteract Kotoamatsukami.

So has anyone done Zeus vs Odin yet? Thunder wielding Top Gods seems like something that would've been done by now.

It was on the ballot for this year's fight, but ultimately lost. I wouldn't be shocked if it still happened later though, Hercules vs. Sun Wukong got a pretty great reception.

Honestly, speaking of mythology/folklore battles...would it be a little unhinged to ask for Paul Bunyan vs. Ilya Muromets? Would be kind of fun match-up honestly.

Elmo 3000 Thinking about it, the Flash Rogues are really fast in general. Being able to hit the Flash while he's moving isn't just solely from predicting when and where he'll be going, but it's also establish they needed to be at least in some part fast.

Also some other random typical low-Street tier Feats like getting up almost immediately after being blasted through multiple metal doors from a sonic boom (https://imgur.com/a/ue90ORI) and that time they shrugged off Weather Wizard's lighting blast all the way from a bunker up to the street without any kind of damage what so ever (https://imgur.com/a/MCAPTVR).

Edited by Candid-Jury on May 5th 2024 at 12:28:25 PM

I'd love to see them stat out whatever the heck is going on with The Top.

Like, heck, give me a Bat-rogues or Spidey-rogues vs Flash-rogues battle for no other reason than I want to see someone try to make sense of The Top.

Edited by KnownUnknown on May 5th 2024 at 9:31:50 AM

"The difference between reality and fiction is that fiction has to make sense." - Tom Clancy, paraphrasing Mark Twain.

The Top is just straight up a herald tier, actually. My favorite for him is Whirlwind. It's so peak.

There is the odd caveat that he can't really die.

Like, I mostly just joke about him being a weirdo power-wise, but the fact that when he dies he can just immediately possess another body - possibly even his opponent's - probably disqualifies him from Death Battle no matter what.

I can't remember, do they ever explain why the fuck he can do that? Yadda yadda something about spinning I dunno.

Edited by KnownUnknown on May 5th 2024 at 10:14:47 AM

"The difference between reality and fiction is that fiction has to make sense." - Tom Clancy, paraphrasing Mark Twain.

No one cares about Danzo other than people who use him for shitposting (like me). Everyone just hates him.

I barely remember he exists

Forever liveblogging the Avengers

I do, but mainly due to thinking how much I hate his role in the narrative.

Who do you guys think be a good match up for Atreus of God of War?

I've seen names thrown out like Damien Wayne, Steven Universe, but other curve balls like Mirana of DOTA: Dragon's Blood and Invincible.

Marvel!Thor . IIRC Altrus is fated to be Loki

a better curveball would be SMT!Satan as a contrast since he has a stint of opposing his father figure and ending up helping the heroes.

Edited by MorningStar1337 on May 6th 2024 at 4:30:38 AM

Zagreus from Hades would be a pretty fun one if they let him use all of his weapons instead of just one at a time.

It's been 3000 years…